I feel like shit and other stuff

I have been off work the entire summer. It has sucked really bad. We have been soooo poor, I have wondered how we were gonna make it day to day. Because I work for the county schools, I didn't get paid this summer, I will, next summer though, thank goodness.
So, I am starting work tomorrow! Man, I am really happy to start getting paid, but I can't help but feel sick to my stomach, anxious and paniky to go back. Apparently, I don't like change very much. I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety anyway but have basically controlled it. Today, I'm just feeling ill. You would think I would be happy to get away from the screaming kids, crazy dog, sick cat and whiny hubby! But, not so much!
So, here I sit, trying to feel ok. it sucks.
Meanwhile, the kids are asking me all these questions and want me to play baseball, barbie's etc. Can I just scream??? It will get better.
Thanks for listening, people! You all rock, all one of you! Like I always say "If I don't laugh, I'll cry!" So, I'm laughing!